RandomClan
by scarpath
Summary: This Clan is made up of cats that are yours!
1. We Need Cats!

A/N

We need your cats! I am writing this story about a Clan made up of YOUR (and my) cats. Please post cats with funny names!

This is my disclaimer: I do not own any cats, they yours, other than Peppersneeze, who is my cat in humorous stories, any warriors mentioned from the books are Erin Hunter's, I am only borrowing them for my story.

Write a review to post your cat:

eg:

name: Peppersneeze

fur: fluffy, charcoal

eyes: purple

wierd thing: cats sneeze around him!

likes: sweet stuff, pranks.

dislikes: green stuff, serious cats and psychos like Ashfur!

**PLEASE READ:**

**If you are submitting a cat, please check what other cats we still need on chapter 4!**


	2. Salt and Pepper

Pepper walked into an empty forest, crouching into the hunter's position, he stalked forward and leaned forward slightly, clawing at a mouse he scented in a bramble bush. He killed it with a quick bite to the neck and carried back to a hollow log, he glared into the darkness, eyes glowing as he dropped his catch into a small hole in the ground that already held a vole.

'This is the life!" He meowed to a heap of moss and a tiny white kitten that slept inside it. "Wake up Salt." Pepper meowed gently to the kit, nudging her side softly.

"I'm up!!!!!!!" The kitten lifted her head at lightning speed, bumping Pepper's chin with a bang and jumping up, bounding to the hole where she grabbed the vole and threw it to her den and flung the mouse over her shoulder at Pepper, in a den next to her.

"You're almost old enough to learn to hunt." Pepper commented, "You aren't a tiny furball who can't leap yet." Salt brightened.

"Really?" she asked, even more hyper than before. A she-cat walked in...

To Be Continued

**A/N**

**We need more cats!**


	3. Snowfeather's appearance

**A/N- We need a medicine cat, a medicine cat apprentice, queens, and more apprentices! No more places in the warriors den, sorry!**

Snowfeather stalked into the hollow log, placing her eyes iily on everything in the log.

"You call this a den?" she asked drily.

"Well, it's not much, but it IS our home." Pepper replied carefully.

"If you can get some cats together, then I can show you a whole new way of life." Snowfeather meowed, drifting into a distant land.

"Tell us about it..." Pepper meowed back equally smoothly.

"Well, I think that he has a good idea!" Salt chimed in.

"We haven't heard his idea yet Salt." Pepper meowed cunfusedly.

"So?" Salt asked, eyes clear. This didn't seem to bother her at all.

"Well, I ran away from my old Clan-" Snowfeather started.

"A what?" Pepper asked.

"A Clan, cats band together and protect eachother, young cats learn from the old, each new-born kit is given a name be their mother, and it will end in 'kit' until they are an apprentice, for example... Salt! Your name would be Saltkit. When you have become an apprentice, meaning you are 6 moons old or more, you get a mentor and your name will change to Saltpaw. When you have finished your training, you get a full name from the leader of the Clan, like... Saltwind, or... Saltfeather. If you become leader, your name will end in 'star' like Saltstar. there is also a medicine cat, who knows all about herbs, and a leader and deputy, if a leader loses his last life, the deputy will take over from him and recieve his nine lives from StarClan. Get it?" Snowfeather meowed, as if it was too simple.

"How does the leader get his nine lives?" Pepper meowed curiously.

"He must visit the moonpool, a place where StarClan is closest to living Clan cats. StarClan is the clan that live in the stars and watch over their descendants." Snowfeather explained

"Where do we get a moonpool?" Salt queried.

"Umm, when the Clans moved to the lake, a member of StarClan showed us the way in a dream." Snowfeather explained, getting tired.

"Where do we get a medicine cat?" Pepper meowed, as if he was a member of the Clan already.

"You would need to find a cat and train them to know all the herbs. Fortunately, I have a list of all the herbs next to me!" Snowfeather meowed iporatnatly, pulling a random notebook out of nowhere.

"Well, I guess we could give it a try..." Pepper meowed unsurely.

"Of course we can! It sounds awesome!" Salt retaliated enthusiastically. pepper looked at his paws doubtfully.


	4. Please Read

**A/N- Hi guys! Thanks for all the great reviews! I will accept the next four to warriors to come and a couple others. (sorry!) I will not use any more cats after that.**

**I'm sorry that I have not updated this story for so long. I've been really busy lately! I'll update it as quickly as I can.**

**Thanks so much for appreciating my story!**

Admissions left:

Medicine cat Apprentice: 1 (XD)

Warriors: 4

Queens: 2 (Someone please mother Moonkit!)

Kits: Come with the queens, up to three each.

**——Scarpath——**


	5. HalfAClan

**A/N- Thanks for all the reviews and sorry this chapter took so long! Please read chapter 4 to see what cats I need! R&R! **

**BTW- I no longer need a medicine cat's apprentice. Others I'm still hunting down!**

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Salt was bouncing up and down, hitting her head on the top of the hollow log every time she jumped. Snowfeather watched for a minute, and then sat down.

"I'm getting dizzy watching that kit." she said, shaking her head from side to side.

"Ow!" Salt exclaimed, hitting her head on the top of the log again. Pepper sighed, rolling his dark violet eyes.

"I'll get some cats from the twolegplace. How many do you need?" Pepper asked, feeling like George Washington, even though he had no idea who that was.

"As many as you can get!" Snowfeather meowed and Pepper stared at him.

"'As-many-as-you-can-get' is not a number my young friend. I'll get fifteen cats for now. More may join later." and stalked off.

"Salt! Stay with Snowfeather! If you leave this log you're grounded for seven sunrises!" he meowed harshly. Salt wriggled in her sleep and Pepper sneezed, causing Snowfeather to have a minor heart attack.

"What in the world was that?!" Snowfeather yowled, eyes wide. Pepper sneezed again and Snowfeather collapsed. Pepper turned,

"What'd you just say?" he asked slowly, sniffing. Silence. More silence. Pepper shrugged, which is hard for cat to do and walked away through the forest.

"Hey guys! What's happenin'?" he sidled into a cave, which somehow had disco lights and poker cards. A pair of sunglasses suddenly appeared on Pepper's eyes.

"Nawt much man. How you been? Ain't seen you for a while." a red and green cat meowed.

"Same old, same old. I want you to join a clan. Same old life with more poker players, more weed, more cash. How's it hangin'? Ain't seen you a while Jalepeno." Pepper took on the voice of Kanye West suddenly. Jalepeno nodded,

"Fine by me man. I just wanna be able to bring my gang." he meowed, indicating a few more cats in the cave. Pepper nodded, finding a lopsided baseball cap on his head. "I'll introduce you, this is Night, Sparrow, Blue, Breeze, Ivy, and Shiver." he turned to another green cat, who had a stack of weed under him. "And this. This is my man weed. Loves his crack." Pepper nodded, getting dizzy from the spinning disco lights.

The gang packed up in their highlighter suitcases, sneakers, cash, weed, cash, sneakers, and clothes. Oh! And cash! Pepper led them to a hollow clearing, where some construction workers were building dens for the new arrivals.

"This is my hood. You all get separate dens for your privacy." He chimed, pointing them to their new homes. Any cat could tell that this clearing was huge enough for a den for each cat. The wall was currently being built by a twoleg in a hardhat. Pepper grabbed a cellphone out of his pocket and dialed Salt's number.

"Hey Salt! Bring Snowfeather over to the new hood. His house awaits." he told Salt, taking on Tom Cruise's voice suddenly. He closed the cellphone and headed over to his new den, which was completely empty except for a few suitcases stacked in one corner. Snowfeather arrived at the entrance, escorted to his den by a female twoleg.

"I'm gonna go get the other half of our new clan." he sent the SMS to Snowfeather, watching him pull a cellphone out of his pocket. Pepper dashed off, heading for twolegplace.........

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**I hope you don't mind the cats using technology. Review cuz there's no other way for me to know what you think! **


	6. Fliers, Spider and Showers, Oh My!

**A/N- Thanks for all the reviews and sorry this chapter took so long! Please read chapter 4 to see what cats I need! R&R**

**BTW- I no longer need a medicine cat's apprentice. Others I'm still hunting down!

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**

Pepper strode confidently through the twolegplace, throwing fliers at the cats he passed, they read:

"Yo Kitty Kats out there!

Getting tired of those twolegs?

Join our new hood! Pepper (the grey cat that threw this random thing at you hoping you can read...) will be back in a few minutes, herding you up to join his hood!

Info:

You get your own house, so bring your stuff!

You get to loll in the forest, together with a "Clan" of other cats like yourself.

You can hunt and fight, tutorials included by our own Clan-cat, who ran away from her home in a faraway forest. (Info in the fine print.)

You MUST have some quirks though, which makes our hood homey and cozey for y'all.

Snowfeather (Ou clan-leaving tutor!)

White she-cat, blue eyes, experience with hunting, fighting, swimming, shopping, making you turn into a block of ice and more!

Join us or die! You choose!"

The cats blinked at each other and shrugged. Pepper strode back with a sign saying:

"All cats to join just follow me! I know your names! I'm psychic." The cats blinked again and joined the crowd leaving town, with suitcases and trunks in tow with one of the workmen from the new hood. Pepper strode into camp and made a loud whistle, getting Snowfeather there.

"Y'all line up! I'll introduce you to out other cats and the clan-leaver." the cats joined into a line like a bunch of feline robots and Pepper started,

"Silver," he meowed pointing to the first cat, continueing down the line with a Ryan Seacrest voice. "Moon, Wish, Sky, Waffle, and.... Salt?! What are you doing here?" Salt shrugged, her childish grin toothing up her face. Pepper shared a glance with Snowfeather and sighed,

"Salt... Sorry about this, but, you're grounded! Get in your house now! No coming out except or meals." Pepper ordered and Salt trudged off. Slamming the bramble and bark door to her den. Pepper turned to the new cats.

"Let me introduce the other half of our clan. This is Jalapeno, Night, Sparrow, Blue, Breeze, Ivy, Weed, and Shiver. And of course Snowfeather. You all know Salt, who is now grounded so if you see her outside her house in the next seven sunrises other than at meals, then you let me know." The cats nodded and Pepper and Snowfeather led them to their homes.

"Hold on! We need a leader and Deputy for this to be a proper clan! Let's do this the fun way!" Snowfeather plopped onto the ground and spun around with her eyes closed, pointing towards the ring of cats around him. He finally stopped, pointing at Shiver and Blue. Everyone's attention was diverted for a second as a workman came through the entrance.

"Where does this moonstone go?" he asked the cats and Pepper pointed him to a corner of the hood, a cave in which the giant lump of quartz would go. Snowfeather blinked, thinking fast.

"Now Shiver. You will now be known as Shiverstar. You and Blue will attend tutorials with me on how to be leader and deputy. Wish, you will have tutorials with my man Headache on how to be a medicine cat." Snowfeather pointed towards the entrance with his tail as a cat wandered in, a train of aspirin in tow. He waved and headed for a home next to Snowfeather's, breaking down the door with his head and barging in, throwing a bottle of aspirin into his mouth. The cats shook themselves and a bottle of aspirin was handed around, each cat taking one or two pills.

Pepper took three and handed the bottle on to Blue. Snowfeather choked down his pill and continued.

"I'm going to seperate you into three groups and give you your proper names. Any cat who is under six moons old will stay with his or her mother in a shared home and when they are six moons old, they will get a new house. If you are under six moons step forward." Snowfeather meowed nonchalantly. Moon stepped forward and watched as no other cat did. His mother poofed out of nowhere and joined Moon in front of the bunch of cats.

"Moon, you shall now be known as Moonkit, until you are apprenticed and recieve you're warrior name in your turn after our apprentice-hood. Flame, mother of Moonkit, you shall be known as Flameclaw." he pointed them towards a home on the edge of the clearing and meowed,

"Any young cat who would be known as a "teen" if you were a twoleg, please step forward." Ivy, Silver, Breeze, Weed, and Sparrow stepped up.

"You shall now be known as Ivypaw, Breezepaw, Silverpaw, Sparrowpaw and Weedpaw. Ivypaw, you shall be mentored by Blue. Breezepaw, your mentor will be Sky. I will mentor Silverpaw. Headache will mentor Sparrowpaw, Flameclaw will mentor Weedpaw, and Ivypaw will be mentored by Waffle." The cats were flustered by the fast speech, but the mentors and apprentices remembered who was their partner.

"Now onto names! Get into lines! Apprentices, you may go." The rest of the cats fell into a line while the apprentices wandered off to the smaller spaces between homes and listened to music and had a party.

"Blue, you shall be known as Blueferret. Jalapeno, you shall be known as Jalapenotail. Night, your name is now Nightsoul. Sky, you are now Skyfeather. Waffle, you are now Wafflecloud. Normally this would be Shiveerstar's duty, but I'm just getting us started. Shiverstar, go to the moonstone and meet your ancestors." The cats trooped off, the younger of the warriors joining the apprentices in the makeshift Alleyway and the older having meetings in their homes.

"OMG!!!!!" Moonkit shrieked, "OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!" all the cats turned around to see Moonkit in a blurry mess, with the apprentices staring at her in horror.

"GET IT OFF ME! EW! EW! GET IT OFF!" Moonkit shrieked. The cats cringed and one of them stepped forward with a roll of duct tape.

"MM! MMMM! MMM! *bites away duct tape* A SPIDER!" she yowled.

"I'll get it...." Sparrowpaw meowed, padding over to Moonkit and throwing the spider in the air, batting it with a paw like a baseball player. Moonkit yowled again and dashed away, leaving a trail of dust behind her.

"Let's just pretend that last five minutes never happened..." Salt meowed bleakly.

"SALT!?!?!?!" Pepper yowled, "Get into that den now." he said, pointing at a random house.

"But.... Pepper-"

"No buts! Go!"

"Pepper-"

"No! Go away!" Pepper finished and Salt shrugged, opening the door to the house and going in slowly. A yowl was heard and Salt dashed out of the house panting.

"Ew! Ew! Ew!" Salt complained.

"What happened? Another spidey widey?" Pepper teased.

"No.... You're so stupid! Snowfeather was taking a shower!" Salt meowed quietly, shivering. Pepper blinked. "Well? Aren't you going to say something? Starting with an S and ending is -orry?" Slat demanded, tapping a paw on the ground impatiently.

"I AM going to saying something, but not that." Pepper meowed, "Did I really need to know that Snowfeather was taking a shower? Really? I mean.... mental imagery is going to kill me now." Pepper meowed with a slight edge of sarcasm. Salt stalked off to her own den and locked herself in......

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**Please read chapter 4 if you are going to submit a cat! Also, we need 3 elders!**

**Sorry if this chapter seems rushed! I'm still trying to figure out what's going to happen with the plot so be patient!**

**Also, if you didn't tell me the gender of your cat, I'm only guessing so deal with it. (I'm in a bad mood.)**


	7. Tiki Dancing Around A Bonfire

Salt came out at dusk to find a huge bonfire with cats dancing around it in tiki style outfits and grass skirts. She snorted in laughter but walked over, grabbing a BBQ mouse and stalking to and edge to eat it.

"Will all those cats who have any common sense and half a tail please give me your attention!" Pepper yowled, Salt looked up to watch his speech.

"Snowfeather has declared Salt as Saltpaw and me as Peppersneeze. The medicine cat, Wish, will now be known as Lastwish! To celebrate this new clan, we will go on a shopping trip tomorrow to fill our homes with new furniture! I will hand out credit cards and slip them under your doors when the party is over. Each credit card will hold $1,000,000,000,000! If you run out, go to an ATM and punch in the code that is written on the back of the card and that amount of money will appear on your card. The card is yours to keep." Pepper meowed like the host of AFV. The cats cheered and clapped and whooped and headed back home with a handout of a present from Peppersneeze, a laptop and WiFi system, and a six-pack.

Salt took hers with a curt nod and headed home. Opening the box she found a coupon for a lifetime supply of candy at CandyMart, a cell phone with a bag full of rhinestones and stickers, and a note. Discarding the note she opened the bag and started to decorate her phone.

Meanwhile in Snowfeather's house, snowfeather sneezed. And sneezed. And sneezed again, shivering. She opened her present to find an electric blanket and a 500WATT heater. She shoved the heater onto her bed and grabbed the note, wrapping the blanket around herself.

"I hope you like it! I know you get colds a lot, so I hope these will help." Snowfeather smiled and fell asleep.

In Headache's den, a giant box was being unwrapped as Headache moaned in pain. Clawing it open he found it full to the brim with aspirin. He grinned and downed five of the small pills, grinning painfully.

Jalapenotail lugged his present into his den, breaking down the door on his way. He dragged it inside and ripped off the wrapping paper, a small black refrigerator standing in front of him. H opened it to find bedding inside and crawled in, throwing the six-pack on the top shelf.

Nightsoul grumbled as she entered her den with a small box in her hand. Opening it, he found some glow-in-the-dark toys, keys a LED light, and soome more lights. Her eyes widened as she installed them quickly.

Sparrowpaw opened his present to find an anger management guidebook. He rolled his eyes as he sat down on the bare ground and read it.

Blueferret opened her present greedily, to find a toy set including some trees, a cliff and cat figurines and a compass. Hovering in the air with excitement, she flew away into the night, to return at dawn.

Breezepaw opened her present slowly, rolling his eyes. She found a blow-up swimming pool, a treadmill, and an air conditioner. She installed it and started blowing up his pool, while running on the treadmill.

Ivypaw opened her present to find a workman popping out, jumping around and installing trees in her home, and putting up a dartboard and darts with a picture of Breezepaw as the target. She grinned, her eyes bouncing around to follow the twoleg.

Shiverstar pulled out her watermelon teddy and hugged it, ripping open her present with the other front paw. She opened it and gasped, staring at the box full of identical watermelons. Grinning and giggling like a kit, she grabbed the box of watermelons and hugged them all, losing the original instantly.

Silverpaw smelled his present eagerly, claws working furiously at the package. A pile of fish delighted his eyes and he jumped into the pile, tongue sticking out on one side of his jaws.

Moonkit opened her box on the roof of Flameclaw's home, eyes wide and grinning as she flipped through her new encyclopedia and The Best Warriors' Guidebook.  
"You must understand the code and always follow it. If there is another cat in need of help, whether they are in your clan or not, you must help them. This may go against the code, but help them anyway." Moonkit read out loud.

Lastwish opened her box, fretting about being the new medicine cat. She came back to the present as she saw her gift. It was a fake paw for her, a coupon for medicine at the MedCat Haven, a box of candy sitting next to it. She tore at a candy wrapper, dropping it into her jaws in satisfaction.

Skyfeather sighed, opening his box expecting a jack-in-a-box and cautiously ripping off the last piece of paper. He widened his eyes at the MedCat Wannabe KitKit. (The authentic kit of MedCat info for the kits!) He pulled out the plastic moonstone model, a teeny tiny sample of glowing quartz (the kind they put in watches a lot), a MedCat guidebook, and plastic pills, one of which he choked on.

Wafflecloud opened her present, rinsing her mouth clean of the non-waffle BBQ he'd just had. He took the tiny coupon and gazed at it in wonder. A Bisquick waffle lifetime supply coupon! He kissed it and called to a workman to build a pagoda in his house with waffle designs on it for the coupon. The twoleg looked startled but got to work on the master lock and laser detection, fingerprint scan system to secure the pagoda in which the waffle coupon would "live".

Flameclaw took one look at her present and placed on flaming claw on the paper, watching it burn into nothingness calmly and grabbing her gift from it before the fire could reach it. Her catbrows raised as she found ClawcyHot (IcyHot patches for claws) and shrugged, unwrapping one and pressing her claws iinto the holes in the wax-paper and delighting in the warm, icy sensation.

Weedpaw unwrapped his present unenthusiastically, expecting to find a book on how to not take weed, but found a coupon for lifetime weed at his favorite store, the WeedOMat and a book on how to make the most out of that weed called "Make the Weed work for you!" he grinned and hugged his coupon tightly.

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**Sorry this chapter has the presents for EVERY SINGLE CAT, but it mkes the owners of the cats happy because they see their own cats at work. I know this isn't great yet, but it WILL be when I've set the story up! I promise!**


	8. We're Going Shopping!

**Disclaimer- I don't own warriors, most stores will be referenced or taken from actual stores. I DO NOT own any of these characters other than Saltpaw and Peppersneeze. The others belong to the reviewers.

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"Cock-A-Doodle-Doo!" Peppersneeze imitated through a megaphone, until all the cats were outside, blinking sleep out of their eyes and yawning. Some of the cats (Snowfeather and Saltpaw) tried to grab the megaphone, but randomly placed security guards held them back. Saltpaw clawed at the air, wailing a high note. Peppersneeze handed the microphone to Headache, who was groaning and covering his ears. The cats took it gracefully and ripped it to shreds a Peppersneeze turned to the crowd.

"I know you're all very excited. Today we're going to be going to the shopping complex. I will be handing out maps of the shopping area, and I hope you will have time to go through all the needed stores and find all your needed items." A whoop of joy came from the cats as Peppersneeze led the way out to the front and two tour buses arrived. Peppersneeze got next to the door on the glittering golden bus and lined half of the cats in, watching them sit comfortably by the TV, playing games on another TV, piling upstairs to the games area to play air hockey, snooker, and other electronic games. The cats on the lower floor made carpet angels in a shaggy carpet and Peppersneeze nodded to the driver, who took off at top speed. "Everybody else get on that bus!" he yowled at the top of his lungs, looking around for a megaphone.

The cats piled onto the bus and Peppersneeze counted them on, surveying the lower floor of cats sipping champagne, making clumsy carpet angels, playing Mario-Kart on the Wii, watching CNN! (Cats' News Now!), bugging the driver, and climbing up the spiral staircase to the upper floor. Peppersneeze nodded in satisafaction and the driver took this as a "Go" and several cats lurched off the stairs in the sudden slam of brakes. Peppersneeze glared at the driver and cursed, moving towards the stairs. He walked up and pushed Saltpaw aside, grabbing her remote for Mario-Kart on the uostairs Wii. Several cats lounged in hammocks, some played air-hockey and snooker and Saltpaw tried to attack Peppersneeze, but was held back with one hind-paw. The bus lurched and after a few throw-ups and groans of distgust, the bus swung into stop and Peppersneeze dashed downstairs, blocking the doorway. A hiss slammed into him and he flung it away with ease. The driver lay back and immediately started snoring.

"Okay! All cats choose a partner! We're going in in pairs! Here's a map each, but don't leave or you're going to have that card and ahem you life ahem taken away from you!" Several cats nodded and several others shrunk slightly, and every cat took a map and got out of the bus. The stood in a small crowd at the door of the bus and Peppersneeze went on. "All you cats must stay with your partner. Any cat left alone will have to withstand the circumstances." Peppersneez contemplated if he'd used the right words, and nodded to himself.

"What are the circumstances?" Saltpaw yowled out and Peppersneeze shrugged sleepily.

I don't know! But as a wise cat whom I don't know once said, Let's cross that log when we get to it." he looked over the crowd and they shrugged, walking amongst themselves to find a partner. Peppersneeze spotted Snowfeather sidling over from the other group of cats and the two automatically became partners.

"My group is all sorted." Snowfeather announced and pointed towards a group of rapidly scattering cats. Peppersneeze nodded and waved a paw for his group to go. He yelped with joy as the cats disappeared and he and Snowfeather marched to the front of the HAWDIFY (Have A Workamn Do It For You) store.


End file.
